Shi Poetry, flowers and Hummingbirds: an example of writing poems in Chinese poetic style

The earliest Chinese poetry is found in the Shijing or Book of Poetry, and contains poems written as early as 1027 B.C.E. These poems fall into four categories: airs standardized from the folk songs of the common people, songs or hymns of nobility; odes of praise for rulers; and odes written for religious ceremony.

Songs often include a four word line, a four line stanza, rhymes on even lines and the use of metaphor, simile, synecdoche, puns, onomatopoeia, rhyming and reduplicative compounds, alliteration and puns as well as parallelism.- see Bob's Glossary to define any unfamiliar terms.

One such song is The Peach Tree Tender:

The peach tree budding and tender.
Vivid and bright its flowers.
This girl is going to be married,
And fit for her chamber and house.

The peach tree budding and tender,
Quite large its fruit.
This girl is going to be married,
And fit for her house and chamber.

The peach tree budding and tender,
Its leaves luxuriant and lush.
This girl is going to be married,
And fits with all in the family.

This poem has a tetrameter rhythm and rhyme scheme (abab/acac/ adad- although this is not apparent in the English translation, it exists in Chinese) that is balanced and suits the nature of the match- the bride will fit well with his family.

The bride is compared to the peach, which is a traditional fertility symbol, and the flowers reference the beauty of her face.

Later poems in this collection do not have such a strict rhythm and rhyme but do have three elements in common; they all have exposition or a rhyme-prose style that reflects what is happening in the poem, such as the balance illustrated above; comparison as in comparing the young girl to a peach or a flower; and affective image which invokes the reader's participation, for "without emotionally arousing the reader first, and thus setting the response process in motion, a poem is nothing but a series of sounds or, in its written form, a mass of physical remarks."

My attempt at exposition, comparison and affective imaging- my rhyme scheme is abcd/ebfd/gbhd/ibjd if this is a rhyme scheme, lol. I attempted to keep the images consistent while telling a metaphorical story in the same vein as what I have learned thus far about Shi poetry...

The hummingbird zips through a sliding door,
Radiating energy and internal joy.
Wall without windows. Flower without scent.
Light beams warm and bright.

The hummingbird hits a panel of glass,
Suffocating energy and confusing joy.
Window without wind. Nectar beyond reach.
Sun sets orange as night.

The hummingbird falls in a shopping bag,
Surrendering energy, relinquishing joy.
Wafting without lift. Deflowered of life.
Darkness saps her might.

The hummingbird rallies by the sliding door,
Summoning fresh energy, reinforcing joy.
Rising with the wind as pistils lapping light
Winged one takes flight.